Motherhood Journal

Motherhood journal #8

Woke up at 5AM
had BR alone. Loved it
then drew an orangutan
I liked his eyes.
it’s wednesday and my heart is heavy
two kids and me until 9PM with no plan
it’s a perfect setup for a failure
for a mildly depressed person.
I try some distraction–tried to sell a few things via online forum–but it made kids antsy. they know when mom is not present.
I try art time. It tires me out–manically closing the caps on all pans and tubes two kids keep opening, wiping excess paints off a mat, pulling a paper off one child’s hand so the other stops yelling–kids love it. “Mommy, I like painting.”A new discovery.
it’s only 11AM.
Next plan is to try out my new system, e-bike and a trailer.
I am super excited.
I load the kids in a trailer and release thee locks on a bike. The new locks are made of connected sticks of steal. They don’t bend. Watching me struggling for ten minutes, older one is done with her candy and a special cookie. Baby starts crying. I can not hook the trailer on a bike. Baby cries more. I call TH and he tries to explain, but I can not make a picture from his words. A woman comes by. She has been hearing my baby for a long time. “I have a two ear old, and I can not. the baby cried for a long time. I think he wants to come out,”she says and
I am now holding the baby and she listens to my husband’s instruction.
Boom! she figured it out.
So I go
with two kids behind me. It feels great. I am not scared.

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